One vs Two

So, my regular readers probably know by now that I don't write much about twins. I mean, I write about *my* twins, but not about the general experience of having twins. I very much take the "making lasagna" view of having twins: if you're going to go to all the work of making a lasagna, you may as well make two trays. Sure, it's more work, but if you're already doing it anyway...

I've always said that I don't think having twins is *that* much more difficult than having a singleton. In fact, I think it's easier in some ways! But now I have a singleton as well, and can compare the two experiences. So here goes:

Pregnancy:

Twins: You get enormous much earlier, and end up completely gigantic, leading ob's (or at least Dr. Tact) to famously comment "you're HUGE!". Far more stretch marks. Entirely too many people feel the need to tell you horror stories that go something like, "my friend was pregnant with twins and then she lost them. Then she died. Then everyone in the whole town died. All because of her twin pregnancy." Seriously, folks, it's not a good idea to tell any pregnant lady horror stories, but it seems especially cruel to tell someone who already has a high-risk pregnancy.

Singleton: Far less sympathy/thinking you're a superstar. People treat you just like you're some normal pregnant woman! Getting comments from strangers that go something like, "You MUST be pregnant with twins" is far less amusing when you are in fact NOT pregnant with twins.

Advantage: Singleton. You know, so long as you don't end up having Braxton-Hicks contractions 9 zillion times a day for the last two months of your singleton pregnancy. And so long as you don't move 4 days before your due date. And so long as you're not kept busy chasing active 4 year old twins. Aw heck, let's call this one a draw.

Birth:

Twins: They give you the big room at the hospital. All kinds of special treatment and people cooing over your twins. They loaded us up with freebies when we left: 4 diaper bags filled with formula samples, bottles, diaper rash ointments, baby shampoos, tons of diapers, etc.

Singleton: They do NOT give you the big room. No freebies.

Advantage: Twins, by a long shot!

Going out in public post-birth:

Twins: Requires ridiculous amounts of planning. Creates a scene everywhere you go. People constantly stopping you to ask "are they twins?" Must use large twin stroller pretty much everywhere since it's not easy carrying two babies (let alone doing anything else like shopping at the same time!)

Singleton: Must constantly remind self to do any planning before going out, though have found that as long as we throw a few diapers, wipes and an extra outfit or two in a bag, we're golden for a whole day out. Still garners some attention, though not on such an epic scale as with twins.

Advantage: Singleton, all the way. Though I suspect a good portion of this is really "third child" rather than singleton. I'm sure if our singleton came first, we wouldn't be quite so cavalier about toting him around everywhere!

Stupid comments from the general public:

Twins: "Are they twins?" "God bless you" (okay, it's not the comment so much as the tone of "poor you" that normally accompanies this one!) "Better you than me!" "My grandmother's best friend's cousin's neighbor had twins" (or something equally insane...I don't need to know about every person you've ever met who had twins!) "Do you watch Jon and Kate plus Eight?" "Two boys? Too bad one wasn't a girl, then you'd be done" "Double trouble!" "Do twins run in your family?" Etc, etc, etc (Moms of twins, feel free to add your favorites! There are so many!)

Singleton: Almost none! People don't stop you nearly as often, and usually they just say something like "how cute" or "how old is he?"

Advantage: Singleton.

However, as a mom of three boys, I have some bonus stupid comments: "My three sons!" "Three boys? God bless you!" (Once again, it's the tone of "poor you" that is troubling). "You'll have to try again for the girl" "Too bad number three wasn't a girl" "My grandmother's best friend's cousin's neighbor had three boys, tried one more time for a girl, and had a fourth boy" (or something equally insane, though sometimes they'll switch it up and the person will finally get their coveted girl after x number of boys).


Okay, to be honest, thus far a singleton has been easier than twins. But, I suspect that has a lot more to do with us being experienced parents than one baby vs. two. So I'm still sticking by my belief that twins aren't *that* much more work than a singleton!

A Champion Worrier, plus a bonus Who's On First story

B-man is, shall we say, able to imagine potential negative future events. I mean, I wouldn't call him a worry-wart. At least not to his face! Today reached epic proportions, though. Here is an actual conversation we had today.

B-man: We shouldn't go camping in Africa.

Me: Okay. [pause] Why not?

B-man: It would be silly. Elephants might come and step on your tent, and then you'd be squashed.

I should note that this came COMPLETELY out of nowhere. We were in no way, at any point in the recent past, discussing Africa, camping, or elephants, let alone the potential to be trampled to death by combining these three elements. B-man continued this conversation of death-via-camping-related-elephant-mishaps for another few minutes.

Then N-man joined the conversation. "We'd need a blow-upper." Long pause as we all stare blankly at him. "To unsquish everything the elephants stepped on."

Which leads me to believe those Tom and Jerry cartoons we let them watch a few weeks ago were probably a bad idea.

_________________

Now here's a bonus N-man story from earlier today.

TK was making lunch for the boys. "Do you want a pear?" he asked.

"YES!" N-man answered excitedly. He paused, then asked, "a pair of what?"

"No, not a PAIR," TK said. "A piece of fruit. You know, a pear."

"A pair of what kind of fruit?" N-man asked. This was throwing TK (and me, on the sidelines) for a loop since it's not like a pear is some exotic fruit they've never had before. In fact, pears are one of N-man's favorite fruits, and he picked it at the grocery store just yesterday.

TK took the pear out of the fridge and showed it to N-man, which did clear up the confusion. But sometimes I just have to wonder if N-man doesn't have a far more highly developed sense of humor than we give him credit for. I can imagine N-man going into his room and cracking up, saying "OOO boy! Did you see me fool mom and dad into thinking I didn't know what a PEAR is? Those dopes!"

Perhaps this explains why they are so impatient...

Little Z-man was fussing as I was getting ready to feed him. B-man walked over and said, "Z-man, patience is a hurt-you".

VIRTUE, darlin'! Virtue! Though from your perspective, I'd guess being asked to be patient does sometimes seem to hurt you :)

It was kind of funny how B-man exactly matched my inflection. I guess I do tell them fairly frequently when they are being demanding that patience is a virtue...

Oh great, N-man jut streaked by, completely nekkid. I suspect they're going to take advantage of these times when I'm tied to the breastfeeding chair! Of course, what they don't know is that this is so easy with one baby instead of two that before long, I'll probably be wandering around during feedings (and forcing children to wear clothing!)

I'm back!

Did you miss me?

As suspected, I didn't have much computer time. But, I'm pleased to announce that not only did we move, baby 3 stayed safely inside through the move. Quite honestly, I'm shocked he wasn't born during all the flurry of activity that surrounds moving. But he kept on cooking, right up to my scheduled c-section this past Monday.

Oh yeah, that's the big news: Mr. Z-Man made his grand entrance on Monday! Everything went as planned, he's a big (8 lb!) healthy baby boy, and I'm recovering just fine, when I remember to take my pain medicine. Which I forgot today, and then was totally flummoxed by the fact that I was hurting. Duh! And I can't even blame it on pregnancy brain anymore...

That's it. My wonderful parents have been here all week, taking care of N-man and B-man (and TK and I!!). They're leaving tomorrow...I suspect it'll be a LOT more work starting then :) But it's all good. We're unpacking and getting used to the new little guy. The big boys are such great brothers...they seem to really like the Z-man.

I'll be back to my regularly scheduled totally random intermittent posting any day now. And looking forward to catching up with reading blogs, too! It was weird to be offline for so long!

37w6d

Today I'm 37 weeks, 6 days pregnant. That's exactly how long I gestated the boys. I have two things to say for myself:

1) Damn, that's frickin' amazing that I didn't just camp out at the doctor's office and demand he remove those two children immediately. I've considered setting up camp already this time, and the only thing holding me back is the realization that I'm being a gigantic baby and to just suck it up because I only have half as many extra people inside me this time.

2) Thank goodness I made it this far. I would have been a little embarrassed if my now-OLD body couldn't make it at least as far with a singleton as it did with twins.

I'm actually getting worried that this little guy will make his appearance early. What were we thinking, moving 4 short days before the baby is due? How is this a good idea? Yes, I love our new house. Yes, in the long run it'll all be worth it. Yes, it doesn't even *really* matter if I have the baby now and miss all the move-related stuff. Well, that will make life much more interesting for TK (hmmm, honey? Do you mind handling two children, selling a house, buying a house, packing/moving/unpacking, a new baby and a wife in the hospital? That's not too much, is it?)

We're in the final crunch now, moving out of our current house in four days, moving into our new house in five days. We've done the vast majority of packing, and I use "we" very liberally, as I've done about five, maybe six boxes total. Mostly I sit on the couch having Braxton-hicks contractions while TK packs, packs, packs. Guess what's on the agenda today? Yep, more packing! (Though we should be mostly done by the end of today...microwaved food on paper plates or restaurants for the rest of the week as we only have the bare necessities out now!)

I'm not sure if I'll be updating my blog or not before the move/baby arrival. Funny to think that next time I blog, it might be from our new house and as a family of five! I should probably try to update, though, as I'm sure it will be hilarious to look back and see a record of the insanity :)

Another perfect summing up of the problem

N-man, on why he had a pee-pee accident one inch away from the potty:

"Mommy, my pee-holder-inner just stopped working!"

An odd twin moment

I've never seen much evidence of my boys being psychically linked. No crying when the other bumps his head, or completing each other's sentences.

But then we went to the doctor's office yesterday, and I learned you gotta watch out for these two!

Their doctor asked them, "what is your little brother going to be named?"

There was a pause, and then they both said in unison, with much certainty, "ZINK-O!"

We've never mentioned this name. They've never called the baby Zink-o before to me...they always just call him "Baby".

The doctor looked at me and said, "Really?" She did a great job keeping her voice neutral, with no sign of disapproval for what would obviously be a crazy name. But they'd clearly convinced her with their certainty, not to mention the fact that they BOTH said it at the same time.

I just couldn't stop laughing!

And for the record, while we're still struggling with a name, we did let the boys know there's zero chance of a little brother Zink-o.