Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Odd angles and empty glasses

We've been to see a lot of houses recently. (Not that we need to. Our house hasn't sold yet, or generated much interest. Ah well, we're lucky that if we don't sell, it's okay. We don't HAVE to sell, we just want to sell).

Anyway, in the process of looking at houses, we've seen a fair number that have obviously been staged, either "professionally", or by someone who read a few staging websites and thought they'd gotten the gist.

Here's my advice to stagers: Putting all the furniture at odd angles is not staging. We're not looking at mansions with big spaces. Having a table screw-jiggy in a rather small dining room is just not a good idea. Placing a couch at an angle blocking off 1/4 of a small family room is not a good idea.

Not to mention the fact that there are a number of left-brained folks who find all these non-right-angles incredibly distracting. Okay, fine, I'm talking about me. When I see these off-kilter rooms, I desperately want to straighten out all the furniture. It comes close to being a physical pain when I walk into a room and see it all out-of-whack.

Second piece of advice: empty martini glasses strewn about is not decorating, even if the glasses themselves are kind of pretty. All it does is make me worried that the boys will knock them over. And makes me wonder if James Bond is expected to visit.

Third piece of advice: setting your dining room table is just weird. Did we interrupt your dinner? It doesn't look homey, it looks like a fake photo-shoot set up.

That is all.

I realize that there are probably plenty of houses that have been well-staged that I don't even notice, and that it's only the badly staged houses that are cracking me up. I do have to say, though, that no staging is a vast improvement over bad staging! Of course, some houses, like the "velvet Elvis" house, could probably benefit from even terrible staging...

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Random unrelated thought: Thank you once again to those of you who gave me book recommendations. I've been starting to crack into the books you've recommended. I'll try to mention it, but if I forget, I'll always have brief reviews in my "books read" section on the right column. Some I may even review on The Book Nook...I have a review of Gig up there today! I also read Other People's Weddings by Noah Hawley, which I found to be a quick read, but didn't love. Anyway, I'm loving all these new books to try out, so thank you!

9 comments:

amy said...

hahaha, I never understood the staging thing! There's one thing about keeping your house clean and uncluttered so the mind can envision, but staged?!? We actually saw a house that was vacant except for the dining room which was set for dinner and a smaller porch-like room that had a small couch w/ a throw blanket placed just so and a book placed opened w/ bookmark in place. It was creepy.

jongirl said...

A touch of OCD anyone?
Wonderfully funny ... I can relate!

Anonymous said...

I agree with you whole heartedly with the staging but also a word for the wise...when you are in people's houses that are obviously lived in and looking around with your realtor not at your side....don't be too nosy....we looked at houses several years ago with small children and they got too nosy and lifted a blanket off what I thought was a box (rather large box) and it was a stinken glass fish tank like thing with NO screen on top with a good size aligator in it. NO JOKE. We almost feel down the stairs backwards. We moved very quickly OUT. Needless to say, we said nothing since my boys were touching stuff they shouldn't but geez.....

Threeundertwo said...

I think staging done well can really give you an idea of how furniture fits in a room. That said, however, I really preferred to walk through completely empty houses.

Anonymous said...

Hehe....i bet some of those were funny to see in person.

Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

Mary Ellen said...

When we were looking for houses, it seemed like everybody had read that you should make your house "smell like home," with cinnamon-scented candles and potpourri.
But I'm not going to buy your house if it gives me a headache!!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, you see some crazy shiz house-hunting, don't ya? I remember seeing one house that I swear was filled floor to ceiling with nothing but stuffed animals. I almost had a seizure. It was like walking into a creepy hallucination. I still get the willies thinking about it.

Jeanne Estridge said...

I always figure the best staging is super-clean and not too cluttered....

ann ominous said...

Thanks for the info about Terminator! I'm now kind of excited and if I didn't have 2 hours of a LOST season finale to FINALLY watch this evening, I might have rented the movie! I completely agree about martini glasses as decoration. For my husband's birthday a few years ago, his mother bought AND MAILED us a 4 foot tall glass martini glass. Why? Why? Why? would you mail your son this??? A) neither of us drink martinis B) it's glass, we plan on having kids and have a highly rambunctious dog C) it's a giant glass martini glass what the heck is it supposed to do?

Her suggestion...put fish in it.

modern decorating does nothing for me.