Dragon Problems

N-man, on blowing out the pretend candles on the pretend birthday cake he made out of legos for his pretend birthday: "Mommy! I can't blow out the candles! I'm a dragon, and I just blow out more fire!"

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On a totally unrelated note, but also something hilarious that N-man does, if His food is too hot to eat, he tells me, "Mommy, blow on it! I need you to make my food warmer!"

So I say, "Okay, but I think you need me to make it cooler."

His answer: "No, I don't want it cool! I want my food warm."

We had this conversation many times, about food, and about when he's too hot. Finally, I came to understand that when he says he wants something "warmer", he doesn't mean add more heat. He means make it warm temperature, rather than hot. So to him, to cool something off from too hot is to make something warmer, in contrast to hotter or cooler or colder.

It actually makes a lot of sense when you think about it. If it doesn't break your brain. I love how his mind works. Clearly he's never heard anyone else ask for their food to be "warmer" when they mean "cooler". He's thought of this one all on his own!

Unfreecyclable

So I'm still on the freecycling kick. It's so funny what goes and what doesn't. I listed 11 mis-matched mugs...got a ton of requests. But a rather nice glass bowl...completely ignored!

Anyway, after my post the other day about freecycling junk, I ran across a hilarious site: Item Not As Described. Basically, it's a site that collects listings where people try to give away things that are clearly garbage. Like our old grill! See, I should have posted it on freecycle, then I could have submitted my own post to the blog as a perfect example of someone trying to give away their trash!

Dr. Tact strikes again

When I was pregnant with the boys, my OB earned the nickname of "Dr. Tact". I know Ms. Goddess in Progress met him, and has some wonderful stories of her own about how he completely lacks any tact at all!

Anyway, that actually doesn't bother me, so I stuck with him for this pregnancy. And I've been surprised that he's not been overly un-tactful this time around. I was wondering if he took some kind of "be polite to patients" class in the past 4 years.

Until today.

We were scheduling my appointment for next week, and I said, "The nurse told me I'd need to come in for a non-stress test."

His response: "Oh yeah, because you're SO old."

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

So this elderly mom refrained from punching him in the nose. See, age brings restraint, so it's not all bad!

One Man's Trash

I'm a big fan of freecycle and donating used stuff to charities, and otherwise passing along functional items we no longer need instead of trashing them.

But sometimes we have something that is so beat up, so disgusting, that I'd be embarrassed to even offer it to someone for free. Basically, it's trash.

I thought we had a piece of trash the other day. It was a grill that the previous owners had annoyingly left when we bought our house. SEVEN years ago. It was beat up and disgusting when we moved in, and we've just had it sitting outside, partially under our deck (though not really protected from the elements) for the past seven years. Time hasn't improved it. It was rusty, and dirty, and all around gross. So we put it out for the trash this week.

Thirty minutes later, someone took it! Honestly, I was so glad. I'm glad that someone thinks they can find a use for it, and I hope they're able to fix it up, or repurpose it, or melt it down for scrap, or turn it into art, or whatever. I hope they don't leave it under their deck for the next seven years, like some kind of barbecue cicada.

So what's your view on attempting to freecycling things that you clearly think are trash? Do you think it's okay as long as you're VERY clear in your description? I mean, I'd hate to drag someone out to my house for the promise of a free grill, only to have them get here and find out it's the most disgusting, rusted out piece of unusable junk ever!

I think from now on I'll try to freecycle big items like this, even if I think it's junk. You just never know what someone else is looking for!

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I should add that I rarely see things that sound really junky on our local freecycle. Though I do have to say that someone once listed opened and partially used cosmetics...I was pretty grossed out at the thought of using someone else's eye makeup and face creams! But sure enough, next time I got a freecycle update, it was listed as TAKEN. So who knows!

Preschool logic

Here's a conversation I just had with B-man:

B-man was talking about how reindeer fly without any wings.

Me: But that's just pretend. (Yeah, I forgot about the whole Santa thing. It's July, sue me!)

B-man, after thinking about it: Well, I just don't see any other way Santa could get presents here if his reindeer didn't fly.

He said it with such certainty, sure that Mommy must be mistaken!

That Kind of Day

I was having THAT kind of day yesterday. You know the one. Where nothing goes right, though luckily, nothing is terrible. Just kind of blah.

TK was out for the evening at band practice, so I knew I was on solo kid duty through bed time. We had a zillion issues with the lawyers/house sale (STILL unresolved), so I was trapped all day at home waiting on phone calls and dealing with things. By the time dinner rolled around, I decided we needed some fun, so I took the kids for a walk to the Au Bon Pain about 1/4 mile away.

We got there, ordered, sat down. Everything's fine. We're having fun. Both boys wanted to sit next to me, so we were cuddled all on one side of a booth. It was pretty cute, and I was starting to relax. We wait for a while, the buzzer goes off, and I go get the food. Or I should say the boys' food. Turns out they're out of the chicken rice bowl I ordered. Again. How come every time I go there they're out of what I want to eat? And why can't they tell me when I order, or at least before I've waited with the boys for 10 minutes? It's not like they're busy in the evenings. There were only 2 or 3 other customers in the whole place while we were there!

Fine. I get something different (which for the record ended up being delicious!) I ate about half of it, but by then the boys had finished their drinks and were both complaining they were thirsty. Okay, easy enough to solve. I went up to the counter, got some little glasses, and got them some water.

I get back to the booth, and ask B-man to scoot out so that I can get back in between them. He puts his little hands on the table to push himself up to standing and....the whole booth tips over!

On to B-man and N-man.

And all our food falls off onto the seat.

Can you believe the entire table fell over because of my tiny little B-man? He wasn't doing anything crazy at all...I can't believe the table doesn't get knocked over ten times a day!

I picked the table up, and both boys were crying but seemed to be without serious injury. Both of them were more concerned about their food than anything else! Luckily, they had mac and cheese, and amazingly, both cups landed right side up and didn't spill a bit. So I moved them over to another table and that, combined with the awesome cups of water with ICE (their favorite!) in it calmed the boys right down.

But the tragedy is that my meal, my substitute dinner that ended up being delicious and that I'd only gotten to eat half of, had entirely spilled out of the bowl, all over the seat and floor.

Don't worry, I salvaged the situation. I went up and bought myself a huge chocolate pastry. Do I know how to solve a problem or what?

Planning breakdown

Me, in my mind: Oh, I have a good idea! I'll head to the farmstand after our CSA pickup!

Me, in my mind: I'd go to the farmstand first, but I need to buy perishables like milk and cheese. Better go to the CSA first.

Me, in my mind: It's kind of on the way home, anyway!

Me, in my mind: I'm always trying to find ways to combine errands to drive less, this'll be perfect!

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Me, in reality: Wow, the farm is really muddy.

Me, in reality: I don't know why I'm surprised. It's the first day in 10 weeks it hasn't rained.

Me, in reality: I even thought to bring their rain boots. I must have known it'd be muddy.

Me, in reality: Wow, the boys are getting really, really dirty. And wet.

N-man, in reality: Mommy, those kids just splashed through the puddle by me! I'm all covered in mud!

Me, in reality: Holy moly, he's got mud splashed EVERYWHERE on his body!

B-man, in reality: Mommy, my boot got stuck in the mud!

Me, in reality: And you stepped right in the puddle in only your sock, I see.

Me, in reality: I have to strip you guys before we get in the car.

Me, in reality: And I only have one extra outfit in the car.

Me, in reality: I can't go to the farmstand with naked kids, can I? It's really more like a small grocery store. Shoot, and their boots are really unwearable, since they got mud inside and out.

Me, in reality: Probably should have just gone to the farmstand this morning, huh.

Terrible taste in books

I missed my last book group meeting, so I got no say in what book we're reading this month.

Olive Kitteridge. That's what they chose. It's an annoying choice, because it's ridiculously popular. There were nearly 400 holds on it at the library, but I gamely added my name to the long list.

Of course it hasn't come in yet. 400 other people want to read it first. So now it's just a few days before book group and I'm forced to, gasp, BUY a book that I'm not too keen on reading.

Lest anyone mistakenly think I have highbrow taste in books, let me dispel that misconception immediately: I saw on the cover that it won the Pulitzer Prize, and I was even more depressed. Yuck, I have to read something that won the Pulitzer? I'm *sure* not to like it!

Then comes the complete kiss of death for me: a quote from O Magazine on the front cover. Ugh. If there's one thing I can count on Oprah for, it's picking books I'll hate. I've come to really appreciate this about her, as someone with exactly the opposite taste as you is just as useful as someone with exactly the same taste.

I plunked down my $12 for the book, cringing the whole time.

And I started it with much reservation this afternoon, while the kids were watching The Backyardigans so I could FINALLY have some lunch at 2pm.

You know what? It's pretty good. Depressing as all get out so far, but not bad. I'm only about 30 pages in, but it's already captured me enough that I'm definitely looking forward to having time to read after the kids go to sleep tonight.

This is why I love a book group. I NEVER would have picked this book up. Sure, who knows what I'll ultimately think of this book, but I'm glad I'm giving it a go! And I'm glad I didn't get a vote this month, as I'm sure I would have picked something different. When I get involved, we end up with something like Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk, which is what we read last month. I'm pretty sure there was never any risk of that novel winning the Pulitzer!

If you're in a book group, are there any books like this, where you didn't want to read it and then was pleasantly surprised?

So THAT'S my problem with the giant burning ball of horror in the sky!

I think I've avoided mentioning on my blog one of the many, many things that I know are crazy about me.

I don't like the sun.

I mean, I'm pro-sun in general. You know, life-giving energy and all. I don't want to build a giant underground complex or anything.

It's just, given a choice, I prefer overcast fall days to just about anything else. Grey, cloudy, 55 degrees is my idea of weather-perfection.

Anyone living in New England knows that this has been an ideal summer for me. How's the weather been? Cool. Rainy. WONDERFUL!

Though I must admit, I was feeling bad for the boys. Kids need summers to run around and play in the sandbox and go in the kiddie pool. We weren't getting to do any of that, so I'm glad the weather has finally improved.

We took them yesterday to a 4th of July carnival in a neighboring town (our lame town doesn't do anything for the Fourth!) Being a solar-phobic, I of course made sure we were all coated in sunscreen. And we were only out for about two and a half hours before my poor pregnant body just needed some air conditioning time to recoup.

We got home and you know what? I got a slight sunburn! I mean, not bad. In fact, it's already faded today to some new freckles on my arms. The stinging has subsided and the redness is gone. But still! I was hardly out very long! And I was wearing sunscreen! I wasn't in the water, and it wasn't so hot that I was sweating excessively. There was no reason my sunscreen should have given up the fight in less than 3 hours.

So I said to TK, "It's because the sunscreen is only SPF 30*".

He answered, "Really? I think it's because you almost entirely lack melanin in your skin."

Yeah, he's probably right.

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* Sunscreen issue of the day: We've been using Baby Lizard sunscreen. I love it! It's chemical- and fragrance-free, goes on smoothly and evenly, and doesn't leave you feeling sticky. My only issue is that it's only available as 30 SPF. Oh, it's pretty darn expensive, too, but I feel it's worth the added cost so I'm not going to complain about that.

But clearly, as yesterday proved, it's not quite as effective as I might desire. Does anyone have a sunscreen they love (preferably one not filled with chemicals)?

House update, again

For once I finally have an update! Our house finally got an offer! We managed to talk them up to the lowest possible amount we could afford to accept. Are we awesome negotiators or what?

Today is the home inspection. Wish us luck! I'm a little worried that there'll be something that ruins the deal. It could all still fall apart!

Though we found out yesterday that ANOTHER couple wants to put in an offer on our house. Our agent had warned their agent that she thought an offer would be coming in, and they were just too late and we'd already signed the offer agreement with the first couple. But if this current offer falls apart for some reason, the other couple will probably put in an offer (of course, who knows if it'll be a good offer or not, but after so long of nothing it's kind of amazing!)

The only bad part of the current offer is that this couple wants to close while I'm scheduled to be in the hospital delivering baby boy #3. Really? That's crazy! Our agent said not to worry about it, that she'd talk to them today at the home inspection. But the reality is that we'll probably be closing and the new baby will be born right about at the same time. I'm just desperately trying to make sure it's not on the same day, though I guess what will be will be. There's only so much I can control! I was hoping we could wait until after the baby arrives to close, but this couple really wants to close before the end of August, so now we're trying to push up the closing so we can be moved before the baby comes. Who knows, though. I do have a scheduled delivery date, but I think we all know that just means I know the last possible day the baby will come...he could decide to make an early entrance, though! Once more, proof that I can't control everything. Not for lack of trying, though.

So that's it. My kind of update. We'll see if anything actually happens...

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As a related question, has anyone ever had a lag between selling a house and buying a new house? Because in theory, we could close on our current house before the baby arrives, then close on the new house after the baby arrives. We'd have two options: move all our stuff out at closing, and have the moving company store it in their van while we live in an extended stay hotel*. Or, alternately, we could sell the house, then "rent" it back from the new owners for a week or two until we close on the new house.

*Actually, this would probably be if things really overlapped with us being in the hospital. In that case, my parents are already planning to be here, so we'd probably send them and the kids down to my grandparents' house about an hour away, and then TK and I would stay at the hospital the majority of the time, with a hotel for any time that didn't overlap with our hospital stay.

I'm hoping it won't come to this, but just wondering if anyone has ever done something like this where they couldn't get closing dates perfectly aligned. It's amazing house buy/sell transactions ever work out!