Monday, January 26, 2009

Potty training woes

Ugh, yes, I'm STILL on this. I have 3.5 year olds! This should be LONG in my past! But N-man is still not at all trained.

I talked to the pediatrician's office. Okay, I know technically 3.5 years isn't *that* old not to be potty trained, but come on! The nurse basically laughed at me, gave me the depressing information that it takes some kids until they're 5 to learn, then sent me information about "the reluctant potty trainer".

Here's the gist of the advice: put him in undies, and never mention the potty again. If he has an accident, have him clean it up, no biggie.

That's the advice? Where was the phone number for potty training boot camp? That's what I'm ready for!

The other kind of annoying part was that the information had all kinds of stuff about the mistakes parents make to cause kids to become reluctant potty trainers: punishing a child for accidents, forcing them to sit on the potty, etc. I never did ANY of that! B-man trained no problem. I have been SO laid back about the whole thing.

I'm losing my mind. Any advice? Well, I'm trying the "don't mention the potty" tact...we'll see how it goes.


On a related topic, N-man is SO independent. I don't think I'm EVER going to have to worry about him following the crowd. In fact, I think I'll mostly have to worry about him running in the opposite direction from the crowd. I see it at school: if the teachers want him to color, he wants to cut. If they make him color, he insists on coloring the back of the paper rather than the front. He's not defiant, he just wants to do his own thing rather than anyone else's thing. I think this is our main potty training stumbling block: we want him to use the potty, so he doesn't want to. I swear, I'm about to pull out the reverse psychology and forbid him to use the potty. Of course, I don't know how I'd explain that one to his pediatrician! Here's how that conversation would go:

Her: How have you been trying to train N-man?

Me: I've forbidden him to use the potty.

Her: And how's that working for you?

Me: No worse than asking him to use the potty.

Her: Excuse me a minute while I make this quick phone call to the insane asylum....


Nancy said...

heheheh I'm so sorry - I shouldn't be laughing, but I totally had that same "reverse psychology" thing. I'm so glad that you took it one step farther with the pedi though ;) LOL

One thing that worked for a day or so for us was to tell them that Thomas (or whoever is pictured on the undies) *really* doesn't like getting wet ... could they help Thomas out? It made them giggle a bit, but it also made them think about Thomas and not want to get him wet. *shrug* might be worth a try (without mentioning the potty ;) )

Good luck!!

Amy said...

once I just gave in and said I'm not going to worry about it, they both started showing interest and actually became consistent. I'm more worried that I'll still be wiping them in college though:0

jules said...

i really think you're on to something with the reverse psychology. we were in to see H's pedi re: his recent eye exam and i said "by the way, he hasn't had a pee accident in months - not even at night, but he won't poop in the potty". he basically told me H is in control of this one. i need to learn to pick my battles and this is one that i need to let go of. he said to tell him i don't care if he poops in his pants, it's fine with me. and he assured me that sooner or later he'll poop in the potty.

of course now amy has me worried i'll be wiping him till he gets married ;).

Rhonda said...

Neither of our girls are trained, yet. At our 3 year appointment in November, our pedi bassically said, "Leave it alone. Tell where the potty is and what it's for. Never mention it again. They'll go when they are ready." We've been trying that approach. Hannah is showing interest finally. Sophie does'nt care. In fact, when asked where she would pee if she couldn't pee in her pullups, she said, "On the floor." Oh, goody.