Another perfect summing up of the problem

N-man, on why he had a pee-pee accident one inch away from the potty:

"Mommy, my pee-holder-inner just stopped working!"

A Potty Post

Yep, here it is, the ol' standard of a mommy blog. I'm feeling a little mommy-blogger-y today.

What I really need is advice. See, my boys have just started to pee standing up. Exciting, right? Ha, everyone with boys knows it's not exciting...it's messy!

So my question is: is it fair to require TK to wipe up the disaster of misses every night since it's his Y chromosomes that are causing this "pee standing up" mess? I feel like since *I* contributed the X chromosome, which everyone knows is the "pee neatly sitting down" chromosome, I should be excused from the endless cleaning of the 5 foot area surrounding the potty...

Random cuteness

The boys have been pretty darn cute recently, if I do say so myself. I thought I'd share just a few of the things that have made me smile/laugh recently:

We told the boys about the new baby coming one night at dinner while we were having soup. We talked about how mommy had a baby in her tummy, blah, blah, blah. Conversation over, a few minutes go by, and I take another bite of soup. N-man looks at me askew and asks, "Why are you putting soup on the baby's head?"

We had to explain about how I have a stomach for food, and a separate spot called the uterus where the baby grows. Now if I talk about the "baby in my tummy", B-man always corrects me and says, "It's not in your tummy! It's in your UTER!"

___________

We went to an open house last weekend. Not so much with the intent to buy, but to see what was available in our price range. N-man loved it, asking us repeatedly if we could stay there. We had to explain that we'll look at LOTS of houses before we find our house. Not to mention that the house was pretty horrid, so it was especially funny that he loved it!

___________

I've been looking at online house listings as well from time to time. I found a house in our price range that has a library! I mean, absolutely nothing else about the house would meet our needs, but it has a library! With built-in shelves! I've been talking it up and showing the boys and TK the online pictures. Now whenever we see a house online, B-man wants to know if it has a library. Sorry to break it to you, bub, but houses with libraries are right out of our price range, except this one odd ball! I love that he wants a house with a library as much as I do, though I suspect he thinks there will be a pet turtle and story hours, just like at our town library!

___________

Potty training N-man is still completely kicking my butt, but yesterday when he successfully made it to the potty, he invented the pee pee celebration dance. It was pretty hilarious, and looked like something you'd see in a Snoopy movie. I hope we have many more pee pee celebrations in the future!

___________

N-man is super interested in rhyming right now. Everything we say, he rhymes right back to us. "N-man, it's time for dinner," we say. "No it's not," he answers, "it's time for LINNER!" I don't know why, but it cracks us up every time. Which I'm sure is why he keeps it up.

___________

I've been sitting on the couch more than usual, thanks to near constant morning sickness (it's getting better, I HOPE!). The boys will play near me, and I'll interact by talking to them. B-man has started "mommy breaks" where he stops playing and comes over to cuddle with me for a minute or two. He's just the sweetest, cuddliest little kid!

Potty training woes

Ugh, yes, I'm STILL on this. I have 3.5 year olds! This should be LONG in my past! But N-man is still not at all trained.

I talked to the pediatrician's office. Okay, I know technically 3.5 years isn't *that* old not to be potty trained, but come on! The nurse basically laughed at me, gave me the depressing information that it takes some kids until they're 5 to learn, then sent me information about "the reluctant potty trainer".

Here's the gist of the advice: put him in undies, and never mention the potty again. If he has an accident, have him clean it up, no biggie.

That's the advice? Where was the phone number for potty training boot camp? That's what I'm ready for!

The other kind of annoying part was that the information had all kinds of stuff about the mistakes parents make to cause kids to become reluctant potty trainers: punishing a child for accidents, forcing them to sit on the potty, etc. I never did ANY of that! B-man trained no problem. I have been SO laid back about the whole thing.

I'm losing my mind. Any advice? Well, I'm trying the "don't mention the potty" tact...we'll see how it goes.

_______________

On a related topic, N-man is SO independent. I don't think I'm EVER going to have to worry about him following the crowd. In fact, I think I'll mostly have to worry about him running in the opposite direction from the crowd. I see it at school: if the teachers want him to color, he wants to cut. If they make him color, he insists on coloring the back of the paper rather than the front. He's not defiant, he just wants to do his own thing rather than anyone else's thing. I think this is our main potty training stumbling block: we want him to use the potty, so he doesn't want to. I swear, I'm about to pull out the reverse psychology and forbid him to use the potty. Of course, I don't know how I'd explain that one to his pediatrician! Here's how that conversation would go:

Her: How have you been trying to train N-man?

Me: I've forbidden him to use the potty.

Her: And how's that working for you?

Me: No worse than asking him to use the potty.

Her: Excuse me a minute while I make this quick phone call to the insane asylum....

Potty Training Advice needed!

B-man is largely potty trained. He still has accidents once in a while, but they're getting pretty rare. Even when we're out, he'll usually ask to use the potty if he has to go (we have him wear pull-ups for longer excursions where there won't be a potty easily accessible...luckily we've always been able to find him one in time so I'm starting to have him go out in undies sometimes).

My problem is preschool. He's only gone to preschool twice (last Wednesday and Friday mornings), and both times, he had pee accidents. The teacher assured me they were used to it, and fine with it. In fact, they have you bring in extra clothes on the first day of school expressly for this purpose. Every morning, I've shown B-man where the potty is, and he's even used it once when I was with him. It's a tiny kid sized potty, right in the classroom. So I don't think it's a problem of him not knowing where it is, or being intimidated of the size. I just think he gets so interested in all the fun things, he's forgetting he has to use the potty.

Should I put him in pullups for preschool tomorrow and tell him he can wear undies on Wednesday if he uses the potty at school on Monday? Should I just put him in pullups with no explanation? Should I let him wear undies again? If I do let him wear undies, and the accidents continue, how long should I let it go before I consider using pullups for preschool? What would you do? While it's only the 2nd week of school, and I know that pee accidents are completely normal at age 3, I feel bad for the teachers always having to clean up after him. I mean, I've subbed in a preschool. It's hard work, and ill-paid. I don't want to make their job any harder than it already is. But on the flip side, I don't want B-man to feel like he's being punished for having accidents. But on the flip side again, I'm just not sure he's reliably enough trained to be expected to make it to the potty yet while at preschool. I don't know...give me your opinion!

Thanks!

_____________________

Replies to comments on Mommy MeMe:
Rachel: Thanks for the head's up that I'm saucy! I hope you do play along!

Nancy: Glad the picture made you laugh. I wanted to play along even though I don't post personal pictures on my blog!

Replies to comments on It's official...I'm SAUCY!:
Marla, Summer, Kimberly, Fit Me Pink, Tiffany, and Heather: Hi, and welcome! Thanks for stopping by! I'll be heading over to your blogs as well!

Gio: Go check out The Secret is in the Sauce. I have a button on the right side of my blog. It's a fun way to find new blogs to read!

Nancy: Thank you! You're too sweet!

Multiple Madness Mommy: Thank you! You're too sweet, too!

Potty training, school, when did these kids get so old?

B-man is largely potty trained. N-man is still wearing diapers. Geez, I hate when one of my boys is "better" than the other at something (even though I know full well potty training isn't a competition or any reflection of intelligence). Potty training is just one of those things where it's impossible NOT to compare them. I mean, one uses the potty and one doesn't. One wears underwear and one doesn't.

Of course, I'm doing my best not to place any value judgments on which of these states is better, but other people do. Ah well, it's hard to have a sibling sometimes, and it's extra hard when it's a same-age sibling.

I'm reading The No-Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I thought it was going to be about how to keep ME from crying. Ha, just kidding. I guess I was going about it all wrong with the rolled up newspaper smacks to the nose.* I'm not finding the book all that useful, although it does reinforce my opinion that N-man wasn't quite ready for potty training yet. So we'll try again soon.

In unrelated news, the boys start preschool in just over a week. I can hardly believe it. I know it goes fast, but this is ridiculous!

Random unrelated thought: I've been od'ing on YA Vampire fiction. I read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and then Peeps by Scott Westerfeld. Both were enjoyable, although Peeps was more up my alley. In Peeps, the "vampirism" is really a parasitic infection. Every other chapter is a description of a real-world parasite. I know, that sounds odd, but it really works and is so interesting.

I'm off to the library now...



*I'm always worried people don't get me. I'm just kidding.

Having twins is a lesson in humility

There's something that is really interesting about having twins: they never let you get too proud of your parenting skills. On the flip side, you never get too down about your parenting skills either.

My boys have always been very different in personality, even before they were born. B-man was the wild child, staying up all night kicking me and doing somersaults in the middle of ultrasounds while N-man quietly got into the proper position and just waited patiently for it to be time to be born.

With sleep issues, I always said it was lucky we didn't just have N-man. He's been such a good sleeper...we never had to do any sleep training with him. He just slept through the night. If he was our only baby, I probably would have been unbearable, bragging how easy it was to get him to sleep through the night. But luckily, we also have B-man, who has NEVER slept well. Ever. Up to and including today, at over 3 years old. He never let me get too much of a big head about my skills at getting kids to sleep. But on the flip side, I never felt too badly that he was so difficult. Since we had N-man, I knew that a lot of it was luck. Some kids either sleep well, or react well to your own parenting styles. They're easy, if you will. While other kids don't sleep well, or need you to try out a parenting style that perhaps isn't as comfortable for you.

We're having the same issue with potty training. We put the boys in underwear on Monday. Today is Friday. B-man has only had one accident in all that time. We said, "It's time to use potties now instead of diapers", and he was like, "sure, great idea." It was so easy. What's the big deal with potty training? That was SIMPLE!

Then we have N-man. He's only used the potty TWICE since Monday, and I'm pretty sure one of those was a mistake since he just couldn't hold it long enough to get up and go on the floor. That's a lot of cleaning up I've done this week. A lot of laundry. A lot of floor scrubbing. A lot of frustration for N-man and me. We put him back in diapers today as he's started crying when we try to make him wear underwear or sit on the potty. He's clearly not ready, and I can't think of anything to entice him to use the potty (we've tried bribing with many things...no luck).

So there we go, once again the boys have made sure I didn't get off too easily; that I didn't mistakenly think I was good at this parenting thing. But don't worry, I don't think I'm that terrible at it either. I guess I'm about 50% good, which isn't all bad :)

Random related thought: Did you guys see GWYNETH PALTROW left a message on my blog? Can you believe it? What? It wasn't the real Gwyneth Paltrow? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure she's taking time out of her busy Apple-raising schedule to give me potty training advice...

Random unrelated thought: Did you notice I changed up my blog list so that it sorts by most recently updated? I'm liking it better than my former alphabetical listing. It just seems more egalitarian. Says the girl who goes by What A Card, and always ends up at the bottom of those alphabetical lists :)

Potty Training is CRAP!

Any experienced moms in the house?

One of my boys hasn't had a single accident in three days, and the other has only made it to the potty ONCE in three days. Ugh. What would you do? Stop potty training the one with little interest? Keep trying? I think I'll give it until the beginning of next week, but I really am READY to have them potty trained. I know, it's not up to me.

Yuck.

I'm not big into the stay-at-home vs. working mom thing...each have good parts and bad parts and I think people should do what works for them. Having said that, though, let me admit for one of the first times in three years, I'm really second guessing my decision to stay home. Is it wrong to go back to work just so I can get a break from potty training??? Hee!

In for a yard

While we were in New Jersey for Passover, we went to my sister-in-law's brother's house for a Seder. While there, I realized something amazing: they had more furniture OUTSIDE their house than we have inside. Okay, I'm exaggerating slightly. I mean, they didn't have bedroom furniture outside. Just patio furniture. Lots and lots of it. A full couch and two chairs plus a coffee table surrounding an outdoor fireplace with full chimney. A table and chairs. Another set of couches, chairs, and tables.

Oh, and all their outdoor furniture was nicer than our real furniture. Hee! Seriously, though, my boys aren't potty trained. I know our couch is ripped and in serious ill-repair, but I don't like it enough to have it refinished and I refuse to buy a new one when I know in the next year, there is an approximately 100% chance the couch will be peed on, at least once, during the potty training endeavors. Okay, hopefully I'm overestimating that 100% chance, but if we bought a new couch, you know it definitely would get peed on. Potty training is going to be harrowing enough; I don't want to have to worry about possessions getting worried as well. So we're just fine with our old couch, thanks.

Back to this house we were at for the Seder: it was nice. A McMansion...the first I'd ever been in. Generic, cookie-cutter-ish, and a tiny bit TOO perfect, but nice. A little odd, and not my cup of tea. I guess I don't need to worry too much about it, though, as the chances of us buying a McMansion are slim. See, first we'd have to win the lottery...

So what do you think? Have you ever been in a McMansion? They're not so omni-present in the Boston area as they are in the part of New Jersey where my inlaws live. It was kind of strange to just see neighborhood after neighborhood after neighborhood of gigantic houses, all looking vaguely similar and brand-new.

Random unrelated thought: I was paging through the 3/30 Boston Globe Magazine (yes, I'm just reading it now. I know! It's May already! Anyway...). In their cooking section, they explain that a frittata is an egg dish that is not flipped in the pan but is finished in the oven, while a tortilla espanola is basically the same dish, except flipped in the pan using the technique Giovanna was kind enough to explain to me where you invert the eggs onto a plate, then slide it back into the pan.

So now I know. I'll happily make tortilla espanola from now on as I clearly can't be trusted with making a frittata! The article in the Globe states: "Frittatas are even easier to make [than tortilla espanola] because they don't have to be flipped in the pan." How little they know. How vastly they underestimate my ability to burn myself with hot pan handles. Bring on the flipping any day! Of course, I may be blogging next time about how my tortilla espanola slid off the plate and onto the hot burner, or onto my hand, or something equally ridiculous. Cooking is always an adventure!

The little things

Snickollet had a recent post about the little things that make her happy. Well, it's not that recent a post anymore, but anyway, it's still true; it's the little things that make or break a day. Not to take the big things for granted, but today I'm going to focus on the little things that make me happy.

• Books. Not to take the "little" part too literally (or should I say Little-er-ly), but books are tiny pieces of portable happiness. Some books have changed my life. Some books have provided me with fleeting entertainment. Sure, some have also been boring or annoying or unreadable, but I just get rid of those. Or, to be honest, I even get some enjoyment out of ridiculing the really bad ones. So books tops my "little things" list.

• Coffee. I gave up caffeine when I started trying to get pregnant, and I just never went back. But I still love a cup of decaf. Sweet and creamy...lots of sugar and half and half. About a zillion calories, and worth every delicious one!

• A good bagel. There's nothing like a New York bagel, but luckily, we found an adequate substitution in the area. I mean, it's not a NY bagel, but it'll do.

• Chocolate. I like my chocolate in brownie form. Or chocolate chip cookie form. Or bar form. And you all know about my chip addiction. Who am I kidding, I love chocolate no matter how you package it. As long as it's not ruined with hazelnut flavor. Who came up with that bad idea?

• Comments of my blog. What can I say? I'm still a relatively new blogger, and it's a bit of a zing when a new comment notification pops up.

• The silly things N-Man and B-Man do. For the most part, the boys fall square in the "big thing" category rather than the "little thing" category. But their random silly comments are little things that just make my day. Recently, it's been how excited they get about flushing the toilet. They stick their heads right in and yell as loud as they can "BYE BYE MY PEE!" and then giggle. It's hilarious.

• At least one good show on TV. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Heroes: those have been some of my favorites. This year, it was a surprise show that I didn't think I'd like. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I don't know why I didn't think I'd like it. Terminator is one of my all-time favorite movies. Oh wait, that's why. Has there ever been a good TV show based on a movie? And coming up this May 22nd, the premiere of my favorite reality show, So You Think You Can Dance. Come on, all you AI fans, I'm counting on you giving this one a try this summer!

• Frozen Strawberry Margaritas at my favorite Mexican restaurant. The chips and salsa are great, too.

Well, those are a few of my favorite things, if I can be a bit "the hills are alive" for a moment.

Random unrelated thoughts: The boys are back in diapers. Me being sick, and now them being sick was just not conducive to potty training. Plus, it turns out they like peeing in their undies more than they like peeing in their diapers. Who knows...we'll try again in a month or two, when we're all healthy and when it's a bit warmer.

1K Wednesday, secure in our masculinity edition

Here they are, sitting on their potties. Their new favorite activity!

We let them pick out their own potties. B-Man was immediately impressed with the pink potty, and totally unswayed by TK's suggestions that maybe he liked the blue potty better.

N-Man then jumped on board. When asked what color potty he wanted, he answered, "Pink. Pink like a flamingo."

Who can argue with that?

The Accidental Potty Trainer

I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Someone should have forced us to take a test pre-children.

Here's the thing: we keep hitting major changes by mistake. I had planned to wean the boys at about 18 months. Round about 13 and a half months, B-man stopped nursing, and before I knew what had happened, I'd weaned the boys. I had no plans to stop using a stroller, but there it is, taking up all the room in the back of my van and I realized I hadn't used it at all this winter. Now, potty training.

I'm not in a huge hurry. The boys are 31 months old. I was hoping they'd be potty trained at 37 months when they start preschool in September, but even then, we weren't too worried if they weren't.

Well, they started asking to go to the bathroom. They started complaining about wet diapers. We picked out little potties for them, which arrived Thursday. And they proceeded to sit down and use them repeatedly all day. Diapers are staying dry for the most part, except at nap time or when we've been out for a long time.

What do I do? Am I potty training? Do I get them big boy underwear and actually try to stop with the diapers?

Do they still wear diapers at nap time?

Am I ready to clean up lots of mistakes?

Are they actually ready to potty train or is this just excitement over a novel situation that will wear off?

I was kind of thinking to start potty training once the weather was nicer, like April or May at the earliest, so they could run around naked. Our house is too cold for naked-running. Will they be able to get out of their pants quick enough?

Why am I even worrying about them getting out of their pants? They can hardly keep up 2T pants as it is...they still fall down regularly since the boys are such skinny-minnies. Without the added puffiness of the diapers, will we need to go back to 18m pants even though those are way too short?

See, I should have had to have taken a test. Clearly I'm ill-prepared for this whole potty training thing and they're throwing me for a big time loop with all this being interested in the potty stuff.

Oh, yes, I know, I'm setting myself up for the irony of them never wanting to use the potty again after the novelty of the potties wears off. Here I am complaining they started potty training before I was ready, and I have this fear that six months from now, I could very well be complaining they are potty training far later than I had planned.

Parenting is hard for a control freak like me!

Random unrelated thought: We went out to a Brazilian BBQ Restaurant last night for TK's birthday. It was a dive, but so good. We have a great babysitter, who actually got the boys to go to sleep...something they hadn't done for us in the previous two nights without huge, hours long fights. It was a wonderful night all around. Great dinner, time to browse a book store, and boys who behaved for their babysitter!

We're going to rock the potty train, she says sarcastically

Here's the "conversation" I had with B-man while I was trying to change his poopy diaper:

B-man: Noooooooo! Noooooooo! NOOOOOOO!

Me: What's wrong? I have to change your poopy diaper.

B-man: Noooo! No change my poopy diaper!

Me: I have to. It's stinky.

B-man: My want my stinky diaper! [Tears are flowing copiously by now...]

Me: You can't wear a poopy diaper.

B-man: Yes! Poopy diiiiiiiiaaaaaappppper!

Me: No, I have to change it. No one wants to sit in poop.

B-man: My want to sit in poooooooooooppppp! [Said multiple times, at increasing volume until the dreaded diaper change was complete.]

Oh yeah, this is a definite sign of potty training readiness, isn't it?

In other poop-related news, N-man cracked me up by coming over to me with a stinky diaper and saying "my smell like the zoo!" He said it with such joy in his voice. He was, unfortunately, correct.

Is this my crappiest post to date?

Random unrelated thought: I need some sleep. Zzzzzzz!

Flakier than a box of Kellogs

I've had two interrelated ideas running around in my head recently. Both would be potentially huge lifestyle changes, and for both, I'm not totally sure just how committed I would be.

The first is that I've been considering a complete reevaluation of the way we eat. I'm very interested in the "eat local" movement, or even just being more conscious of what we eat. You know, less prepared convenience food. I think we do a reasonable job of eating healthy, although there's still a lot of room for improvement.

I'm running into a few problems, though. First, I don't know anyone eating local, so I have no one to help me out with tips on how to do it. I'm searching the web, but it seems to be a big job.

Second problem: one of my sons has a peanut and tree nut allergy. I know, that doesn't seem to be related, but I've found that it is a problem. As I try to make healthier or more environmentally conscious choices, I've found that far more of those choices are not nut-safe. My theory is because many of these foods are from smaller vendors, who probably don't have the space to have nut-free facilities, so all their products end up potentially contaminated with nuts. This just further limits the already small number of choices available.

Third problem: cost. It's not bad in the summer to eat local vegetables, and they taste so much better that even if they do cost slightly more, it's well worth it. And often they cost less, so that's not a problem. But off-season, there aren't many choices, and non-vegetable choices do tend to be more expensive than their conventionally grown options. For example, this past Thanksgiving we had local turkey: $80 for one turkey! Yeah, that's not going to fit into our budget on a regular basis.

So, I think what we'll try to do is make better choice. I'm not going to set an eat local goal, like 50% or anything. What I'm going to try to do is to be informed about my choices, and chose to eat local when possible. I think I'll try to do one 100% (or as close as I can get) local dinner per month, just to start getting my feet wet looking for options in the area.

My other issue that I've been thinking a lot about recently is living simply, trying to reduce consumerism in our lives. Celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas, the time period from Thanksgiving to New Year quickly devolved into one big consumer driven fog. Too much stuff! So, I'm trying to be more cognizant of purchasing what we NEED, not just what we want. Thinking about purchases instead of just impulse buying. I'm sure I'll be blogging more about this in the future.

But, my concerns in general are that I'll become really flaky. I feel like people who move far from the norm of standard accepted behavior sometimes become really judgmental about it. And I hate that. I don't want it to be a competition, or to be judged because sometimes I just want a cup of Starbucks coffee or a banana. I don't mind if people think I'm weird, but I don't want them to think I think I'm better than them. Oh well, I'll just keep telling myself I can't control what other people think, just what I do.

Easier said than done, right?

Random unrelated thought: When I asked B-man who he loves, he answered, "Mommy, Daddy, [N-man], and (pause....) ME!" Then he cracked up. He has such a weird and wonderful sense of humor. I love how he's always trying to say something funny. N-man is more of a straight-man, but is still willing to find the humor in the situation and greets the world with such enthusiasm. He peed on the potty the other day, and danced around for about half an hour saying "Yay, me! My pee-peed on the potty!"

The N-Man checks the calendar

January 1. The first day of the year. What does the little N-man do? Decides to climb out of his crib for the first time.

Yep. I know, they're almost two and a half; we got lucky to make it this long without any crib escapees.

And, as if that wasn't enough, he asked to pee on the potty, too. Totally unprompted.

It's like he looked at a calendar and said, "Well, it's 2008, I guess I'm ready to move to the next stage now."

N-Man also cracked us up today by insulting my cookies. I guess I should start by admitting that my mom makes the best Christmas cookies ever. And my boys ate about a zillion of them while we were visiting Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas.

So, for New Year's Eve, I made some chocolate chip cookies. I make great chocolate chip cookies. I swear! Well, I offered N-man one of them today, and he said, "where's Grandma's cookies?" Tough noogies, kid, you're stuck with Mommy's cookies! I also asked him if my cookies were as good as Grandma's, and he vehemently said NO while shaking his head for extra emphasis of how inferior my baking is.

Unrelated thought: I'm not big on resolutions, but I think my next blog entry will be goals I'd like to pursue in 2008. Get them in writing, make them concrete and measurable. Or maybe not. If I made resolutions, perhaps my first would be to write down my resolutions.