Whore-iffic

At book group last night, the host showed us something that was absolutely hilarious and incredibly disturbing at the same time: a Barbie her daughter had received for Christmas. Barbie Loves TMX Elmo to be precise. I would consider myself to be a feminist, but I don't go too overboard. I mean, I'm not exactly opposed to Barbie even if she isn't my favorite toy on earth. But this Barbie was just too hilarious.

Just take a look at that Barbie. Soak her in, in all her glory.

First and most glaring issue: Why is Elmo-lovin' Barbie wearing knee-high black f***-me boots? I mean, is that appropriate attire for someone who loves Elmo? What kind of love are we talking about here? Do the Elmo knee socks sticking out of the top of the boots somehow make it less disturbing? Or does that make it more disturbing?

Second issue: Why is Barbie wearing a micro-mini? Is it more fun to play with Elmo if your derrière is hanging in the breeze? Which brings us right into issue three...

Why doesn't TMX Barbie have any panties on? You'll have to take my word for it, but this Barbie is going commando. That's not lady-like. And with a skirt so short, you know she had to have planned to be showing off her goodies. This can't have been a mistake.

Fourth issue: Her belt buckle is hilarious. It's Elmo's eyes, staring out of her. That's freaky and ridiculous and creepy.

Fifth issue: Maybe I'm just remembering incorrectly, but does Barbie normally have freckles? This Barbie does...a spattering across her nose and cheeks. Oh, I see. She has freckles. She must be innocent, then, and not at all disturbingly dressed.

Now look back again at the picture. Take a good look at Elmo this time. What does it look like he's thinking?

I tease because I love it. If I ever see this Barbie on clearance, you know I'd snatch one right up (hee, I said 'snatch'), and take it out whenever I needed a good laugh.

Random unrelated thought: I went to the zoo today with my boys. Hey, the temperature goes above freezing and we're getting outside! We had a great time, and I think it must have been an unofficial bring-your-twins-to-the-zoo-day. I ran into a woman I know through the Mother of Twins club, who was there with her three kids. That was great! Then, I ran into another mom of twins, this one I didn't know, but chatted with her for a while anyway. And as we were leaving, another family with twins was just going in to the zoo. I guess I wasn't the only one home with two energetic toddlers who felt like 39 degrees was certainly warm enough to go play outside for a while!