Monday, May 19, 2008

Get used to it, kids! That's life!

Every once in a while, I'm taken aback by a children's toy. It's happened once again. My grandmother gave the boys a large set of matchbox-type cars, trucks, and related stuff. It was some cheap off-brand I'd never heard of, not particularly well made, but my boys are absolutely loving it. And while it's turned my house into a giant disaster of tiny little toy pieces, I can see that it is a lot of fun so I'm not overly disturbed by these toys.

My problem, however, is with one of the small toys included. It's a barrel. Okay, that kind of makes sense. There are a lot of construction-themed pieces of the set (pylons, cones, etc.). What would you think the barrels contain? If you guessed "toxic waste", you'd be correct. Yes, you heard me: toxic waste. I've got to give you photographic proof:

Look closely: that's a picture of a person's hand being dissolved by a drop of what I assume is some kind of acid.

I wish I had been at the meeting at this toy company. I imagine it went something like this:

"How about we include some barrels in the set? That would be fun for kids."

"Great idea! What should be in the barrel?"


"No, that's already been done."


"What does that have to do with construction?"

"Um, those barrels that keep cars from being destroyed when they miss the exit and ram into the concrete?"

"Doesn't that seem a little dark for a kid's toy set?"

"Oh! I've got it! How about some toxic waste?"

"Yeah. I can see that!"

"What a great idea!"

"Kids love toxic waste! Just look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"

"And what parent doesn't want their kid to play with toxic waste?"

"Okay, it's a go."

Of course I'm letting them play with the barrels. Hey, kids, that's just the kind of world we live in. Filled with toxic waste. Sorry guys, get used to it!

Random unrelated thought: We bought the boys twin beds this weekend. They'll be delivered in about a month. Oh my, how did this happen??


KCRSummertime said...

Of course, if the toy barrel was made in China, it might be REAL LIFE toxic waste in there! A little lead paint, some BPAs, maybe some plutonium for good measure!

Giovanna said...

sending you great bed vibes that the boys will have a great transition.
Hey, mine did, maybe yours will too!
It can happen.

Mommy, Esq. said...

I wonder if you'll pack them up the first time you step on the pieces in your bare feet. While I haven't had that experience yet I remember my mother going crazy after that happened with my brother's toys.

Mary Ellen said...

Guess what I'm making for dinner tonight?? "Crockpot Chicken a la Card!" It's turning into sweet BBQ goodness this very moment!
In other news, I know I'm late, but I'd add Amy Bloom's A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You to the list of fabulous short stories. And maybe something by Alice Munro.
Too funny about the toxic waste. It should come with a little hazmat suit for Halloween.