Friday, February 8, 2008

Are there stars on your underwear?

So, today I'm thinking of pickup lines. I went out to dinner with two girlfriends a few nights ago, and for once in my life, I got there early. I was waiting for my friends, standing right in smokers' alley. You know, that lane between the bar and the door that all smokers must take on their walk of shame to feed their addiction. I guess they might not think of it as a "walk of shame", but I digress.

Anyway, while I'm standing there, some guys come by and one asks if I'm waiting for him. I say "no", and he asks if I want to wait with him. No thanks, I'm fine. Move along now. Later, after one of my girlfriends, L., arrives, another guy walks by and calls us "pretty ladies" and asks us to go out and smoke. I think. I'm a little hazy on that part as it was noisy and I wasn't paying a lot of attention. I think I better forward this to L. for verification. Because if that's really what happened, that's a pretty weak pick up line.

All of this has got me thinking, what are your favorite pickup lines? Mine is the one I used as a title for this entry. Much to my dismay, no one ever tried that one on me. TK, if you're reading, you better get moving on this one!

So for all you readers (all five or six of you :), share, please, the best pickup lines you've heard.

For the record, I never get hit on anymore. I'm not sure when this happened. Or stopped happening. Last time I got hit on was at a sci-fi convention a few years ago (note to anyone in the mood to get a lot of attention: sci-fi convention = awesome place to meet men apparently. Who knew! I was there watching TK play piano so it was a long night of gesturing to the stage and saying "my husband's in the band". But I digress, again). On the plus side, I don't miss getting hit on. I find it kind of awkward at best and annoying at worst. That's my unfriendly streak at work again, I'm sure.

One last thought on this whole experience. Okay, advance warning: I'm neurotic. Warning done, now back to story: You know how young guys hitting on older women is the new big thing? Yeah, these guys didn't think I was an older woman did they? I'm only 33. Damn, I suspect they might have thought I was an older woman. Fine, these guys were in their 20's I'd guess (once again, I have to turn to L. for verification) so yes, I guess technically I am an older woman. Shoot. I was looking rough that night thanks to my early morning workout schedule. And twins. Can I blame the twins for prematurely aging me? I think I need to start using the Stephanie Plum theory of big hair and lots of makeup to distract from any flaws like huge dark circles under my eyes.

Random unrelated thought: B-man was wandering around this morning saying "Biko" over and over. I'm not sure if he's a Peter Gabriel fan or just really into human rights. I think it was just random syllables to be honest. But, it reminded me of TK's roommate when I was a freshman in college. This guy would play Peter Gabriel's Biko over and over again. I mean, I like that song, but isn't it a little repetitive to play multiple times in a row? He'd stick it in the CD player on endless repeat, and listen to it for hours on end. I've never understood it. What do you think: was he purposely trying to drive TK crazy so that he could have the room to himself most of the time or was he just a really annoying guy?


tammy said...

For some reason, I get hit on a lot when I'm pregnant, but not much otherwise. Maybe it turns guys on when there's actual proof you've had sex before.

Anyway, my favorite pickup line (meaning I laughed for days after hearing it) was this one: Are you a rocket scientist? Because I need someone to take me to the moon.

What A Card said...

Oh, good one!

I never got hit on while pregnant. I managed to completely escape the "glowing pregnant woman" stage and was mostly bloated uncomfortable huge woman.