Monday, September 8, 2008

The best job offer ever

I got a funny email today. I love scams. They prey on the desperate or greedy. Nice, right? People suck. Here's the email. I guess I will be going back to work, as this is just too good to pass up...

Greetings,
You have received this message because you have published
your resume at careerbuilder.com [No, I didn't] and you
meet our criteria [Really? And just what are your
criteria?]
. And we offer position in our company [Is it
a position in proofreading? Because you could use it.
Or do you save money by omitting "you"'s and using
sentence fragments?]
. Our company Scammerific [I deleted
the real name as it looks like a real company name was
used, I'm guessing without their knowledge]
Jewellery (SJ)
is one of the most prestigious manufacturers of exclusive
jeweller [Why? Why? We don't need no stinkin' Y's]
production in the Western Europe [Wow! All of *the*
Western Europe?]
. SJ Production differs by uniqueness
of each product and makes individually for each client
[Wha huh?]. The individual, professional approach and
long-term experience allows to achieve [Who? Allows who?
Please, I'm so curious.]
high parameters in the jeweller
industry field.

We provide the best working conditions for our employees
[The BEST? You promise?]:

Working with us you will get:

- fixed salary
- material bonuses
- a bonus for the housewives [So do I have to mail you the
housewives, or do you pick them up?]

- qualified support of the skilled manager
- work in one of the best team of the Europe [The grammar
team? Oh wait, I know...Manchester United! (Double PS to
diss myself, I had to dig deep for that one. I
can't even name American sports teams!)]

- we can help you to open credits with minimal percent
[What? Do I have to pay you now?]

- challenging experience in the highly perspective field
of business [But will railroad tracks seem to come
together at the vanishing point in the distance?]
with
great future career possibilities.

We also provide medical insurance and an annual salary
of $65,000/year. [Oh good. This certainly doesn't sound
too good to be true or anything. What was the job
again?]
The salary is paid monthly. If you have kids
then you'll receive additional income [For what? Do I
have to put them to work too? No? Good. I have 97
kids then so cough up the extra dough]
. The contract
is rather flexible so if you wish to alter some clause.
[I'm sorry, did you get distracted in the middle of
that sentence? So if I wish to alter some
clause...what? Don't leave me hanging!]



If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to
ask them via our email:
you'reanidiot@gmail.com [Yes, I did change that
email address. But it was gmail. Which I don't
find at all suspicious.]



It's not multi-level marketing [Okay, then what is it?],
not sales position [Really, what is it?] and absolutely
free for start [what about for middle? Or for end?].
We would like to point out that this job may become a
good additional employment for you [I would like to point
out I don't believe you]
. You may have a primary
employment or a running business and stillcooperate with
us because this job will not take a lot of your time
[For a piddling 65k I would hope it wouldn't take a lot
of my time. Geez, it'd be almost like someone expects
me to WORK for money.]
.
We are looking forward to hearing from you [I hope you're
not holding your breath]
.
Who falls for this crap? Sadly, I know. People who desperately need money. And they probably get dragged into something illegal or have to provide bank information for direct deposit and then have their entire account wiped out. Or have their identity stolen. Or something equally horrid. Or it's people whose only mistake is that they're gullible and a bit greedy. I wish the answer was the no one falls for this crap.

Unless maybe it's not crap. What do y'all think? Should I apply? Hee!

In seriousness, I did just have a potential job kind of fall into my lap. It would be doing accounting, and would probably take up nearly all the time my boys are in preschool. I talked to TK, and he's so awesome. His immediate response was "Why would you want to do that? If you don't give the whole writing thing a try now, when will you ever have time to do it?" I love that he's okay with us not maximizing our earning potenial. I sometimes feel like if I went back to work, we'd be able to do x or buy z without worrying about it. But luckily, those x's and z's aren't the necessities, so the game is still on to write, write, write. Preschool starts on Wednesday, so I'll be focusing more on my writing adventure...

4 comments:

maggie said...

LOL - Clark Howard was just talking about these the other day...apparently this is one of the new scams. WTH is wrong with people who actually believe this stuff?
Can't wait to hear about preschool! It seems IMPOSSIBLE that they are old enough for that!!

Nancy said...

I can't believe you read the whole email. LOL

Nancy said...

And Dangit - Now *I* have too.

mommaof4wife2r said...

i just can't stop thinking about how stupid that is...anyway, yeah for preschool.